(SERMON) Easter Eve 2016 - 'Desires and Decisions' Ezekiel 36

The death and  resurrection of Jesus changes EVERYTHING.  It not only fills us with joy but also compels us to seek holiness.  When we believe, we are not only washed clean but given a new heart and mind, the Holy Spirit to help us fulfil these new desires, and a life completely changed, renewed, and rebuilt from the inside out by God.

(SERMON) Good Friday 2016 - conversion and conviction

"The cross of Christ compels us to compassionately seek conversion"

The torturous death of Jesus changes everything - but only for those who believe.  The truth is that we are all dead in our sins, far worse than we image.  The truth is that Jesus and faith in Him is the only way we can be saved. The truth is that all other religions and world views lead to hell.  Knowing this and marvelling at God's love for us compels us to preach Jesus to the nations.

(SERMON) Prayers Of Power - Ephesians 3.14-21

Power is something of great importance in our life but it must come from God.  Firstly we must pray for the power to reform our lives by having Jesus renovate our hearts.  Secondly we must pray for the power to have revival of the soul by grasping the huge and unbelievable love of God for us.  Knowing this power is ours should open our eyes to how God can do all things and all things must be done for His glory.

(SERMON) 2 Thessalonians 1.1-12 The Foundations of Prayer

Without solid foundations our prayer life will either go nowhere or fall apart.  We must remember the three key building blocks of biblical prayer: 1) Grace - everything flows from God's free gifts. 2) Glory - everything should be for God's glory 3) Greeting - everything should be given perspective by the imminent return of Jesus.

Reflections on New Wine Leadership Conference 2016 (part 2)

Charlotte Gambill - passing on the mantel 1 Kings 19

Listening and watching Charlotte speak with such passion, poise, and power I couldn’t help but conclude that God Almighty had filled her with the Holy Spirit and raised her up for this very purpose.  Charlotte seems so clearly to have an amazing anointing of God for her ministry.  I found her talk creating within me a conviction that I must lay down my pride and selfishness, I must share my ‘mantel’ and calling with others, I must be willing to do the awkward thing and involve others in my ministry that they may become a legacy behind me.  I’ve worked in teams, and worked well in them, indeed I prefer working in teams - teams of competent professionals.  Yet even then there are some things I hate passing on and I resent giving over to others, preaching and teaching being perhaps the most obvious one to me.  

“We are too often concerned with our own success - but God is concerned with our succession.  Empire builders are on their own for themselves, legacy builders look to passing things on to the next generation.  Don’t wait till you are passed out to pass things on - telling people what you learnt about the church in your dying breath is too late.“  Charlotte Gambill

Yet I also wonder, especially at this time of uncertainty over where I am to go in ministry over the next few months: who is willing to take me and lay their mantel over my shoulders?  I will never forget four years ago sitting in Charlie Cleverly’s office at Saint Aldate’s as he prayed for me shortly before my ordination.  I don’t remember much of what he said but I remember so clear that he suddenly stopped, stood up, took off his cream coloured blazer and walked behind me, placed it on my shoulders, and prayed that as the mantel of leadership is passed to me - as it was from Elijah to Elisha - would I be filled with power to preach and pastor.  At the time I thought it bizarre, I almost laughed, but I cannot count how many times my mind has been drawn back to that moment when that holy man of God who leads the most amazing church in the country laid his blazer on my shoulders.  Maybe I don’t need someone else to take me under their wing.  Maybe I’ve already been given the mantel and I just need to wait for my time with humble conviction.  Maybe I am reading too much in to what Charlie did!

Charlotte’s words about how Elisha went and burnt his ploughs, killed his livestock - his whole living - and kissed farewell to his parents before closing the door to his past really struck a chord.  In ministry it must be all or nothing, either stay or go but don’t leave the doors open, don’t allow yourself to hold on to other options. In personal holiness we must burn our past, thank the Lord for what we have learned from our mistakes but kill the temptation to return to our spiritual vomit.  As I look at what comes next in my ministry and life I must refuse to ‘keep my options open’ and look at other employment.  No! God has called me to ministry and ministry will be my life in His power and grace and I will pray and pray and fast and fast till He sends me into the pasture of His pleasing.

Even more so, thinking on our beloved Church of England it strikes a clear note of warning.  Questions assail evangelicals at the moment; can we stay in a church which may end up publicly blessing and promoting sin?  Can the Church of England be redeemed from the liberalism and spirit of anti-Christ within many of her clergy and cogs of power?  Can she ever be re-reformed to the days of true doctrine and pure gospel, the days of simple faith in the Word of God and humble submission to the truths revealed in its pages?  Evangelicals need to make a choice here and now, either take up the mantel of authority and ministry of this particular church passed down to us from Cranmer, Grindal, Whitfield, Ryle, Stott and others and fight to the end for the Church of England - or leave now and don’t look back.  What will not work is staying but holding open doors for escape if it goes wrong, keeping back options and plans.  Either we fight to reclaim the Church of England for Jesus and we lay down our lives doing it or we just stop now.  As tempting as it may be we must burn our ploughs and slaughter our cattle in sacrifice to the Lord and then trust, simply trust, in a God who is indeed good.

“Elisha’s response to being given the weight of the ministry of Elijah’s mantle was to first go home and burn his ploughs, burn the distractions behind him, close the doors he might be tempted to return to, reject the things which might keep him from the things God was calling him to.  Stop leaving your options open, stop playing with ministry, if you are going to commit then commit in such as way you don’t leave the door open behind you. “  Charlotte Gambill

Mark Batterson - various topics

Mark was the keynote speaker of the conference, he had a number of slots and sadly I missed the first one - something I greatly regret.  Mark was perhaps the most engaging speaker I have seen in person, full of wit and humour, interactive, self-depreciating, passion filled, and full of knowledge; full of wisdom, full of Jesus!  Sitting listening to him stirred my heart with longing, a deep and painful longing to glorify God as he does, to spread the fame of Jesus as he does, to be filled with the power of the Spirit as he is, a longing and aching to make such an impact for the Kingdom as he has done.

I have always wrestled with envy.  A longing to be like or have something which others do.  I have grown up being envious of my brother’s seeming inhuman perfection and self-control, envious of the work ethic of peers at university, most envious of those who have found loving relationships when I have remained single and alone, envious of people with mercedes or who have money to buy one.  Though I have longing for these things it has rarely ever led me to despise others or wish to take such things from others as envy by definition leads to and contains - the only exception being a few occasions whilst at university concerning relationships. But where I feel this most painfully is when it comes to ministry.  I long to grow a church by God’s grace, I long to write books that impact lives for God’s glory, I wish to speak at more conferences and share my passions and experiences, I long to be used for the fame of Jesus.    And that is what I felt at nwlc16, especially with regards to Mark Batterson.  I love Mark, I praise God for Him, but oh Lord please take my life and use me for Your name’s fame and renown!  Is this wrong?  Is this the same as the other things for which I have felt an envy?  Is there such a thing as a righteous envy like there is a righteous anger?  I don’t know, but having this desire to be used by God not for my own fame but His and His alone grow so powerfully in me has certainly made me recommit my whole life and ministry to His sovereign will.  

In his talks Mark reminded us that God firstly reveals Himself as a creative creator.  If we are made in the image and likeness of God, if we have the Spirit of God within us, how can we not be creative too?  When we are not creative we are marring His image in us, we are not reflecting His glory and person as we should be.  We are called to love God not only with all our body, strength, and soul but all of our mind - the logical parts and the creative parts.    Quipping that “a lack of creativity is not a lack of creativity, it is simply a lack of effort” Mark went on to give a number of practical pointers about helping and growing our use of creativity to reflect the glory of God.  My favourite pointer was certainly taking naps!  But it was his challenge, matching well with the words of Justin Welby, that we should not just denounce error but produce a better thing which most impacted me:

“Criticise by creating.  criticism is a cop out, it is an easy way out - no, no, no, write a better book, make a better film, do a better thing, let us be known for what we are for not what we are against; Paul didn’t stand outside the Areopagus with a sign saying ‘paganism is wrong’ but went inside and spoke the gospel and offered a better thing.  Don’t settle for creating a subculture but live to make sure that His Kingdom comes and His will is done.”  Mark Batterson

Mark’s second talk was about ministering from our convictions - what our convictions are will shape our future and our reality.  God’s kingdom around and through us will only be as big and truthful as our biblical convictions.  The emphasis he placed on the need to have biblical convictions was a timely warning.  Mark inspired us to look and re-asses our convictions and then live them out.  The theme of looking at the ‘backstage life’ was brought into sharp relief again as he challenged us to care for our inner lives because if you don’t care for the horse the cart is not going to go anywhere.  Importantly, he encouraged us to remember that God is good and He blesses what is good - so if so stick at doing good things in your ministry eventually you will find blessings, growth, and God making Himself known.  Speaking as if directly to my longing of God to make a massive impact for Christ  through me, Mark said:

“If you dream big in ministry know that God can do so much bigger.  Why does God give us big dreams?  Because they keep us on our knees, humble, dependent.  It may take a long time, for Caleb it was forty years but in the Lord’s time they crossed the river into the promised land.”  Mark Batterson

I commit myself in ministry and life to spend my years on my knees, humble, utterly dependent on Him for everything and always giving Him the glory; the rest I will leave to His will and pleasure!

The final talk Mark gave concerned passing on our legacy; how the work and ministry we do now can have unintended but wondrous consequences down the line - perhaps even after we have gone into glory.  The tiny mustard seed may have seemed worthless and small and planted simply so the farmer could put mustard on his food but God grew it so that it would become a whole ecozine with birds nesting and living in the branches.  In ministry we sow small things in faith, we water them, and we trust God for the growth - that is all we can do.  What we do in faith doesn’t grow slowly and predictably, no it increase 30, 300, 3000 fold!  

“Your job is not to do amazing things for God, His job is to do amazing things through you; your job is simply to consecrate yourself to Him.  Jesus didn’t say ‘you will build your church’ but ‘I will be build My church”.  Isn’t that Good News!  God is going to do what God does! …   Don’t seek opportunity, seek God and opportunity will seek you.  Consecrate yourselves to God and He will do amazing things among you.”  Mark Batterson

Would this truth, this freedom giving, guilt lifting, weakness redeeming, truth be ever before my eyes in life, ministry, and prayer!

Concluding thoughts.

I loved being at New Wine Leadership Conference 2016.  I was richly blessed by the time I spent there. I have left the conference feeling encouraged, renewed, revived, lifted up, and filled with hopeful confidence.  

Some of the most powerful moments for me were not during the wisdom given in the talks but were in the times of worship together.  Standing in a room with 1700 other leaders from all across the nation and indeed from countries abroad and all stand with hands raised in thankful praise and longing was stupendous.  Feeling the weight of the glory of a loving God in that room, seeing the joy erupt across a thousand faces as we sang of His goodness, seeing the pain appear in a thousand hearts as we repented of our pride and sins in song; all this was priceless.  Mark Batterson had called on each of us to worship God with all of our mind but in our time together we worshipped God as one with not only our voices but with all our hearts, souls, and all of our bodies.

Seeing prayer answered was a joyous thing, seeing God impact people around you was a wonder.  Seeing the sacrificially generous overflow of faithful hearts as leaders gave £107,000 to help churches in Syria was simply something else.  Sure, some of my concerns about New Wine were also evident at these exact times, but that didn’t detract from my appreciation of what God was doing.  

I am most certainly a charismatic, and claim that name gladly.  I believe the gifts of the Spirit - all of them - are available right now by God’s grace.  We should all be praying to speak in tongues and praying even more so for prophecy.  A church not seeking the gifts of the Spirit is a church, to my mind, living in disobedience to Scripture and the will of God.  But as a charismatic I also have ABS - Automatic Biblical Stopping.  Paul doesn’t just call on us all to desire and use the gifts of the Spirit he also is very clear about how and when to use them, clear that everything must be done in an orderly way, clear that tongues should only be used in a public service when there is an interpretation, and prophecies should be orderly with one coming after another.  When I don’t see these things I get on edge and feel uncomfortable.  Some aspects of New Wine as seen at the conference put me on edge and made me feel uncomfortable.  Maybe I need to embrace the awkward, let go of my control somewhat. I don’t know... I struggled to see in the Bible some of what I saw at the conference.  Importantly though, this does not detract from my thanksgiving at the wonderful things that God was clearly doing there, and there is no doubt in my mind for even a moment that He was there in power and presence.

Perhaps what saddened me the most during my time at the conference was the reaction given by some of my friends in ministry to the quotations I posted on facebook.  These friends were largely from the conservative evangelical wing of the church (a wing I also move in - indeed I am a member of Church Society) though some were from a higher ‘catholic’ churchmanship.  I saw great saints become seemingly jealous and bitter.  They were most uncharitable.  They appeared to be purposefully and unfairly critical of what was said at the conference.  People were willing to leap on soundbites without context and presume the worst of ministers (and archbishops) who dearly and clearly love Jesus. People personally called the speakers things like ‘horrible man’ - not ‘what horrible teaching’ but an attack on a person who has done amazing ministry in God’s power.

My heart was breaking.  How different was this than the vitriol and bile I have seen from some on Changing Attitudes facebook page towards the likes of Archbishop Foley Beach and others?  Sure it wasn’t as high quality as the hate from the ‘liberals’ but - as Archbishop Justin said - we shouldn’t even try to compete.  New Wine may not be to the taste of these people, I myself have issues with some parts of it, but it pains me to see saints attacking saints, to see Kingdom workers undermining Kingdom workers, to see people slinging sand around instead of building together on the Rock of Christ.  Despite their disagreements it is a sorrowful sign of depravity that people who agree on the gospel and the urgent need to share it with all, that people who agree on the glory and majesty of the Triune God, who agree on Jesus’ incarnation, sacrificial death, resurrection, ascension and coming return; that such people should start declaring like the foolish Corinthians “I am of Reform” “I am of New Wine” “I am of Saint Helen’s Bishopgate” “I am of HTB” “I am of Ebbes” “I am of Aldates”.  Come on Saints! Jesus died for something better than this.

"We need a generous spirit within us, when we see other Christians of different traditions finding success and winning souls for Christ we should rejoice and praise Him for what He is doing and not be grumpy and resentful because they see some things a bit different to how we do and disagree on minor things."  Justin Welby at nwlc16

So how to sum all I’ve said about the conference up?

New Wine Leadership Conference 2016 gave me:

- Affirmation that God is not only good but utterly sovereign.

- Hope not only for the evangelisation of England but the Reformation and Revival  

of the Church of England in particular.

- A recommitment to care for my ‘backstage’ life.

- A renewed emphasis on the majesty of God’s good gifts to us.

- A deeper longing for God to use me for His fame and prestige

- A desire to see unity in the Church around truth and an openness around

secondary issues.

- A closer examination of my motivations and emotions in both ministry and

my speaking to or of others.

For all that, and so much more, I give great thanks to King Jesus for the New Wine Leadership Conference 2016.  I cannot wait for the which ever regional New Wine Leadership Conference I attend next year.  In the meantime I am prayerfully and joyfully looking forward to the ‘Junior Anglican Evangelical Conferences 2016 - reach, build, send’

Reflections on New Wine Leadership Conference 2016 (part 1)

This year I had the blessing of being able to attend the New Wine Leadership Conference in Harrogate.  I decided that the hour and a half commute from Saltburn was worth it given it was cheaper than a hotel - in hindsight I regret this as it meant I missed the evening session of the first day, the first session of the final day, and the evening social interaction.  Nonetheless, I had an amazing time, I was deeply challenged, given great hope, encouraged immensely, and left which much to think and pray about.

Above all else I left with the conviction that God is so Good!  His blessings and favour are unimaginable.  The love of Jesus for us is so radical and life changing that it is impossible to grasp at the words to truly express it.  I left with a hope I have not felt for some time, a hope that the Church of England has an amazing future - a future of growth and the great things of God above.  God is sovereign, and He loves His Bride - this is all the hope we need even in the darkest of times.

There are still two talks I have not heard and I hope to be able to catch them on YouTube later, but I felt that I should write something now about how I felt and what I thought of the conference.  I will start by considering the content of the talks before looking at some wider thoughts and reflections.

John Coles - the throne of grace and guarding the inner life.

As many will know, New Wine has recently been rocked by the news that their recently appointed leader had a personal fall into sin - nothing the police would be involved with but enough that he has had to step back from not only the ministry of New Wine but his own church too.  John Coles has once again stepped up as the interim leader - a role he had thought he was finished with when he laid it down.  The pastoral blow up from this sad story was still and is still very raw and painful.  I felt deeply saddened by it - especially after so many other ministers of God's majesty have fallen in the past few years - Mark Driscoll, Tullian Tchividjian, R.C. Sproul Jr. etc.  It feels like Satan is coming along and finding those whom God raises up and then knocking them down one by one whilst laughing at us.  

As much as I feel sad over such falls from leadership I also feel a deep and painful challenge to my own life.  I long to be used by my Lord to proclaim His Good News to as many people as possible, I have been called to ministry like these men; and I am a sinner.  If such men of God could fall into such sin and it catastrophically destroy their ministry then it certainly could happen to a miserable sinner like me.  I feel more and more heavily the burden of being a shepherd who leads the flock, of being a person who people are supposed to look to as an example in their life of faith.  

John Coles gave a heartfelt and heartening talk about not only how good God is and how merciful He is, but also how we can help to guard ourselves from falling into such sin.  The need for close friendships in which I am held accountable was again seared into my brain and raised up my list of priorities to the point where it has been highlighted and circled a thousand times on my to-do list.  I almost feel I need to tattoo it on my face to make sure I sort it out!  One theme which came through in this talk and the rest of the conference was that ministers must focus and care for their 'backstage' life as much as their 'front stage' ministry.

"We need to spend more time focussed on our backstage life and less on our front-stage ministries, as charismatics we spend too much time looking and promoting our outward ministries and not enough time caring for our lives behind the ministry which are often in the dark and withdrawn from support and prying eyes."  John Coles

Nonetheless, as Christians we are people who follow a God of mercy and forgiveness.  John Coles' reminder that "God's throne of judgement becomes His throne of grace" to the believer is something we must not only proclaim but live out in our lives.  

One thing which stuck with me was this thought:  Christians can fall into sin but we can never fall from grace because grace is something we never deserved or earned in the first place but was and is and will be given by God to His chosen saints no matter what.

Nicky Gumbel - being in God's waiting room; lessons from Abraham.

John Coles was followed by Nicky Gumbel.  One great thing about this conference was that for the first time I got to hear both Nicky Gumbel and Justin Welby speak.  These two speakers were stupendously great, challenging, and encouraging - but they also left me with the most questions and concerns.  

We all dislike being in the waiting room in the doctors or the dentist, or indeed having to wait for anything!  But how we hate being in God's waiting room!  Waiting for Him to do something, waiting for Him to speak, waiting for Him to answer a prayer.  As Christians we need to learn to actually enjoy being in the waiting room.  Abraham spent most of his long, long, life there and we find great teaching and encouragement from the accounts in Genesis.  Nicky spoke of how we are often tested whilst in the waiting room - tested by fear, uncertainty, conflict, delay, and then even by the blessing when it comes.  As Christians when we find such tests we have hope in Jesus:

"Jesus went through the greatest test, He was sacrificed, crucified, for us - the greatest test.  Because of this we have hope in our own tests.  No matter how messy our trials and pains and struggles “it didn’t look good at the crucifixion” but it looked glorious three days later and this is where our hope lies." - Nicky Gumbel

Nicky ended by encouraging us with the affirming thought that because we have a God of resurrection the church will never die in this nation - new life is coming.  I was greatly blessed by his message and left with great hope about my own waiting concerning where my ministry is taking me as well as the future of our dear church.  Yet, something tasted sour to me and I would feel remiss if I didn't say something.  Nicky spoke about Abraham's moral 'blips' his 'falls' and his 'messing up' but never once (that I recall) used the word sin.  Is sin really a 'blip' or is it actually cosmic treason that deserves not only the death penalty but an eternity spent in hell?  What does not using the word ‘sin’ achieve, especially in a room full of church leaders?  

I praise God for all that He has done through Nicky, HTB, and Alpha - it is some of the most amazing things the church has seen for generations.  Personally though, I am not comfortable with what to me is the minimising sin and believe very strongly that unless we call sin sin and acknowledge it as such we put ourselves in dangerous places spiritually.

"People don’t say in Britain “the church is dead” they say “the church is nearly dead” but we know it will never die because Jesus rose from the dead.  The church is not going to die, God is going to raise it to new life, churches are going to be re-opened, what we are seeing now is just the beginning, the nation is going to be re-evangelized, the church is going to be revitalised." Nicky Gumbel  

Kate Coleman - lessons on in the inner life from Moses

Kate really brought home the importance of knowing ourselves and humbly asking God to reveal our weaknesses, needs, true desires, real motivations etc. The importance of caring for the person we are ‘behind the scenes’ and not just focussing on outward ministry was again emphasised.  Kate was engaging, challenging, and encouraging.  She spoke powerful truths from the Scriptures concerning how we wrongly doubt and question God, doubt ourselves, and fail to live humble lives before our Lord.  

Leaders need to collaborate, share the weight of leadership, and kill their pride which stops them from doing so.  As someone who is a control freak and so greatly prefers to do everything myself I was challenged and made to think about who at my church I can build up to minister, who can share what I do, who can I pass my gifts to before I leave?  The final thing which really made me stop and think was when she spoke of how Moses' failings in leadership were caused ultimately because he loved the people more than God, he feared the people more than he feared God.  How much of what I do is governed by a longing to please and appease people instead of God?  

"As leaders we need to be aware that God knows everything about us. We must have have a degree of vulnerability and willingness to have God-given revelation about our motivations and life and ministry.  This is why spending time in His presence and in prayer asking him tough questions about ourselves.  How we respond to God and others will show us and everyone who we are."  Kate Coleman

Justin Welby - a world view from the wider issues of the planet to one closer to home.

This was the first time I have heard Justin really speak, and it.

was.

amazing.  

My opinion of the man was greatly lifted, his love for God and for His Bride was overflowing, his intellect and his compassion were plain to see.  Justin gave me great hope for the Church of England and great pride to be part of New Wine - a movement which has fuelled so much growth and renewal in the Church.  

"The long years of winter in the Church of England are changing, the spring is coming, the frost is thawing.  There is a new spring in the church! Embrace the future and the present - with all the pain and longing and not being what we long to be, because the Spirit meets us in the present and takes us to the future.  There is no despair in the Christian life for we know Christ rose from the dead."  Justin Welby

Yes Lord! Please Lord!  Thank You Lord!  Sitting in a room full of 1700 church leaders who were filled with a fire for the glory of Jesus and a desperate passion for sharing His fame I could not and cannot help but see this as a prophetic statement.  I live in hope now more than I have for many years - hope not for survival but for revival!   

Justin acknowledged the role New Wine has played in this, not just as a conference but as a juggernaut of joyous proclamation and Spirit-empowered lives of victory.  From churches in small rural villages through to churches  in a city centre with hundreds of people passing through each Sunday, New Wine has impacted thousands and thousands of lives for Christ.  And there is more to come!  For all my qualms and misgivings about some aspects of New Wine (some on that later) I feel my heart rising in my chest knowing I am a part of this network of saints.

"New Wine has changed the tide and renewal across the Church of England is coming, we are not having to pull against the status-quo but rather churches are pushing for the help and resourcing to grow and be part of the new things the Spirit is doing."  Justin Welby

What Justin said about current divisions in the church also cut me in the heart like an arrow dipped in the blood of Christ.  I know too well the silent urge to let hatred slip into righteous passion for truth.  To let my longing for God's glory lead to a spite tinted response.   Evangelicals need to be defined by what we stand for and love not what we hate and stand against.  I have been pained in the past by the utter bile and vitriol I have seen poured on faithful saints by some of the people within groups like Changing Attitudes.  I have rarely seen such from evangelicals in return, though sadly my posting of things from the conference revealed to me that we too are human and the temptation to let unrighteous emotions and thoughts taint what we say is very real.  I have rededicated myself to watching my tongue when dealing with individuals and guarding my thoughts from hateful spite towards those I disagree with.  

Justin proclaimed that truth and unity are not a dichotomy and must be had together because the God who is truth is a God of unity and therefore His truth naturally brings unity among the saints.  But I was left with the serious question - when is division right, what issues are 'first order', can you have unity with those who hold to what I can only describe, even when being charitable and loving, as heresy and horrendously soul-endangering error?  Justin didn't answer this. As I ponder these questions I will continue to be unashamedly bold in proclaiming and protecting the truth revealed in Scripture, but I will now be all the more careful to put to death hatred in my heart.

"We need a generous spirit within us, when we see other Christians of different traditions finding success and winning souls for Christ we should rejoice and praise Him for what He is doing and not be grumpy and resentful because they see some things a bit different to how we do and disagree on minor things."  Justin Welby